Ah, now my evil scheme is revealed.  This whole blog malarky is just an excuse for an exciting retail opportunity.

Seriously though, if you’ve got a few quid burning a hole in your pocket, you could do worse than chucking some of it in my direction, in return for some quality products.  After all, I don’t think the ‘internet video editing’ business model is really going to work out for me:

1) Spend bloody ages editing a funny video.  And I really do mean ages.  Months sometimes.

2) Put the video on the internet.

3) Let everyone watch it for free.

…and that’s where it all falls down really.  Thinking about it, it’s a bit similar to Cassetteboy’s previous business model:

1) Spend bloody ages editing a funny album.  And I really do mean ages.  Years sometimes.

2) Album appears on the interent.

3) Everyone listens to it for free.

I don’t want to come across like a hypocrite though, ‘cos man I love those free internet albums.  And videos.  As soon as they figure out how to pirate food via peer-to-peer file sharing networks, I’ll never have to spend any money ever again.

(I’ve just thought about how that might work, and it’s quite put me off my dinner, I can tell you).

Where was I?

Oh yes, give me some money.  If you want.  I mean, it will only encourage me.

Currently available are the following exciting products:

Cassetteboy – Carry On Breathing

Our latest album.  Adam and Joe recently played some tracks from it on their great 6music show.  They said it was “very enjoyable stuff indeed” as well as saying something about our being Joe’s new boyfriend.

Cassetteboy – Dead Horse

Our previous album.  It’s a bit like a greatest hits I suppose, certainly if you’ve seen us play live, a lot of the tracks you will have heard came from this one.

Michael Bollen – Earth Inc

Once upon a time I wrote a funny book, and it was called Earth Inc.  (Don’t worry, the standard of narrative in the book is better than that.)  You can read some extracts from it here:

And that’s it.  We don’t have copies of any of our other albums any more, so I guess you can go ahead and download those guilt free.  Woo-hoo!

The other stuff you can buy from our friends at Spymania, here’s the link:

Thanks.  You won’t regret it.

UPDATE: A few people wanted t-shirts. Never let it be said that I don’t listen to public opinion. Ladies and gentlemen, I rather apologetically present:

Cassetteboy’s Emporium Of Crap

When things have quietened down a bit, I might see if we can do some others with ‘classic’ Cassetteboy quotes on (“18 bottles of piss and a matching t-shirt” from this would seem like an obvious choice). If you have any other suggestions, please leave a comment.


14 responses to “Shop!

  1. what about t-shirts?

  2. yeah, we did have some t-shirts once, but they’ve all gone now. It’s certainly worth thinking about making some more.

  3. i agree – t-shirts would be good…

  4. Thats a bad business model. YOU’RE FIRED 😉

  5. Brilliant video. I loved it. can’t you sell your stuff as cheap downloadable MP3’s.

    I’d certainly buy it. Jenny from the Block is my all time fave and every time my neice called Jenny walks anywhere near or house it is played to her.

    have you thought about shirts on

    Anyway, love your work, Please keep it up.



  6. Didn’t you once put soulseek’s web address on the inside sleeve of one of your original albums?! Parker tapes maybe? Now yer having a go at p2p

    Anyway I always brought your stuff, seen you at glasto a few times so you can’t be doing that bad rite??

    • Sorry, those p2p comments were meant to be tongue in cheek. I’m the last person who can condemn copyright infringement, clearly.

      No Soulseek or No Bit Torrent = No Cassetteboy, basically.

      I’d rather people were listening to Cassetteboy albums that fell off the back of a modem than not listening to them at all.

      I hope that’s cleared that up.

  7. You’ve got a fantastic talent for ‘viral marketing’ – it doesn’t seem to be (based on this post) working for your own material, but I’m sure your talent would be valued highly in advertising/marketing

  8. Don’t you have a paypal or something so we can inject cash straight into your brain?

    I’d happily do that.

  9. I want to give you some money for the wondrous Apprentice video. Please tell me the best way to go about this.


  10. After I wiped the tears away, I went to your shop and bought some stuff. sniff.

  11. Thanks Doug, and thanks everyone else who’s bought stuff. I look forward to standing in line at the post office next week weighed down with your packages.

    And thanks to the people who have said they would have donated. I hadn’t really thought that people would want to do that, so maybe I’ll try to set something up when the next video comes out.

    Thanks everyone.

  12. seen as you now have shirts how about margaret thatcher riding a huge chameleon?

  13. Please can I personally request a T.shirt with just “£3.10” on it? I would buy 2 even, one for me and one for my partner in crime. Every time we see something at this fine price, it fills us with with great joy and we have to sing the song.
    p.s. We would also pay £3.10 to see you play in Brighton again. That would be ace. Well, I’d be willing to pay more, but I just like £3.10. Ace.

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